StUcK iN a TrEe
by Fang's penpal
Summary: A summary? I have to write a summary? Screw that! Why don't they just read the damn story? Geez. Chapter 11 up!
1. Chapter 1

**StUcK iN a TrEe**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of James Patterson's characters, or a beaver.**

**I want a beaver!**

**Split personality: Well you'll never get one, so hah! **

**Oh, would you just shut up??**

If you could have the thing you most wanted in the entire world, would you do anything for it? I, Max Ride, thought so too. But when Fang offered me something I wanted most of all, he said I would have to do something for him first. He said I had to do something that totally freaked me out.

So here I am now, right in front of my worst enemy.

"Hello, Ari."

"Hello Max, what did you want to see me about?" He sneered.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you… you're the cutest, most hottest boy I had ever met! I love you!" I slapped my hands over my mouth in shock. _Am I really that desperate to get what I want from Fang??_

Ari looked at me with a smirk. "I knew you loved me all along. That's probably why you ignored me at the School."

_You pig headed son of a- _"Yes, that is exactly why! I'm so happy you understand."

"I'll pick up at eight." He said as he walked towards me. He stopped right in front of me and kissed me! Kissed me on the lips! I think I'm going to go burn my lips off now.

I flew home and gave Fang a look of total hate. It just so happened Fang was walking Total, who perked his head to the side, clearly curious to as what was going on.

"What's happening? Is this going to turn into one of those soup opera, like on Life of drama? Oh, Katherine. Why did you cheat on Derek? Why, oh why? Oh woh as me!"

"No." I hissed. "But it may turn in to Ultimate Fighter." I put my fist in a defensive way.

"Max is just overreacting because I made her do a dare for something." Fang said calmly to Total, who nodded his head.

"Overreacting?! _OVERREACTING?!_ I had to kiss Ari! ARI! And to make matters worse, I have to go out on a date with him!"

"Ooohh. Can I do your make up?" Volunteered Total. " I'll do it just like Dianna's on Life of drama. Oh Katherine, why?!"

"Total, you don't even have opposable thumbs."

"Oh… I forgot."

8:o0

"Oh Max." Ari called in a singsong voice. "Your man awaits."

Fang poked his head inside my door. He spoke between muffled laughter. "Max, your night in shining armor awaits." He let out a loud chuckle.

"You laugh now. But when I get what I want…" I resisted cackling like a mad man and rubbing my hands together.

Fang looked a bit scared, but shook it off. "What ever." He pulled his head out of the room.

I sighed. _Oh well, I guess I should get this over._

_Max, I don't think this is such a good Idea. Ari might try to pull something._

_Hey Voice, Long time no hear. Don't worry, if he does try anything, I'll spray him with mace._

_Not like _that _Max. Like capture or something. _

_It's all right voice._

_Are you really that desperate to get what you want?_

_Yes!_

_All right then._

I slowly opened the door, and walked out to Ari.

"Here Max." He said, arrogantly as he shoved flowers in my face.

"Now you two kids have fun!" Fang said as he shoved us out the door.

(At ThE restaurant)

Ari wolfed (**A/N: Get? I made a pun!) **down his lam as I stared disgusted.

He looked up at my steak, that didn't look so delish any more.

"Ooh gohha eah ah?" He asked, spit and food flying from his mouth.

"No." I said queasily. He grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth. I grimaced in disgust.

He suddenly stood up, and kissed me. The kiss wasn't the part was stressing so much about. The fact he still had food shoved in his mouth was. And he tried to french me! Eww!

(Back at the house)

Fang smirked as I walked through the door and into the house.

"So how was it? Did you guys hit it off?"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Give me it now!"

"Give you what?" He asked with fake innocence.

"You promised!"

"Whoever said that was all you had to do?"

My eyes flared. "What??!!"

"I have something else for you to do…."

Yay! Done with first chap! 

**Split Personality: Bout' time to.**

**Oh, shut up you!**

**Please review. Reviews rock my socks off… I think.**

**Yea….**


	2. Chapy 2 :

**Chap 2!! Cahoo!**

**Split Personality: Cahoo??**

**Shut up…**

Thank you, reviewers! chocolate4eva

**acavoo**

**SamanthaFantasyFan**

Fang is evil! He is so evil!! How could he make me do this?? How? Aughh! I cannot believe him!

I scoffed up feathers as people pointed and laughed. Feathers were glued all over my body. A very ridiculous chicken beak was slapped onto my face. All in all, I was dressed up like a chicken. Bocking and pecking the ground. In public.

"Why'r you dressed like a chicken?" A small boy asked, lowering his face to the same level as mine."

"Cuz people are evil. That's why."

"Oh. Like the bad guys on TV?"

"No."

"Then like what."

"Like some one that you like/hate."

"Sounds who ever made you do this has a crush on you."

"No he doesn't!"

"Sounds like you have a crush on him too!"

I glared at the little kid, then sighed.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yea."

"Huh." I sighed. So much for hiding it.

I sat down with the kid on a park bench.

"So… do you think I should tell him?"

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Of course you should! Its never healthy to hide you emotions." Hello next Dr. Phil.

"But what if he doesn't like me back?"

"I'm sure he'll understand. Its better to move onto the next step, than never ask at all."

"Thanks kid. What's your name?"

"My names Phil." Hello, can you say ironic?

"Thanks Phil." I got up and started pecking my way home.

_Wait, did I just get dating advice from a from an eight year old?!_

_Yes Max, and it was good advice at that. You should listen to him._

I sighed, and knocked on the door to our hotel, finding it was locked. Fang answered it.

"So how'd it go Max? Any one give you bird feed?"

I took a deep breath in and blurted "FangIreallylikeyouandIthinkyourhotdoyoulikemebackohpleaselikemeback!!!!"

Fang stared at me. "Wha?"

"Fang… I have a crush on you. I really like you. Really, really like you."

Then, something totally unexpected happened. Fang looked into my eyes and kissed me. Kissed me! And I liked it! Wow…

After he pulled away, he said, "Max, I really like you too. That's kind of why I made you do that stuff." Holy crap! The kid was right!

"So… does that mean you'll give me what I want?"

"No."

"What?? Were like… a couple now! You have to!!"

"No I don't."

"What else do I have to do? Disable an atomic bomb?!"

"Maybe."

"Gahh!"

"Here's another thing you need to do…"

**2 hours later**

So this isn't so bad. All I have to do if freakin dye my hair pink! Hot pink!! I hate that color! I also have to wear very slutty clothes! And I also have to walk around the mall, asking boys for money! Of course, Fang will be watching from a distance, but still, this is humiliating!! He probably just wants to see me in these clothes.

I walked up to a tall handsome boy.

"Hi, can I have ten bucks?

" You wanna do a little favor for me first?" He said, moving closer. Ah! What a pervert!

"No.. actually that's fine… I don't need any money any more."

I ran back to Fang.

"I can't do this!"

"Fine, but you have to keep that on in the house." He smirked.

Told you so….

**Hi! Please review. Sorry about Max's clothes, I just had to!**

……………………………………………………………………………

**It is so weird without that Split personality!**

**Any way, I can't tell you what it is Max wants! It's a surprise!**

**Either that, or I just want to torture you.**

**Heheh….**


	3. Chaptere three

**Chapter… 3!!**

**Sorry for the wait**

**Split Personality: You better be sorry!**

**Shut up!!!**

**Thank you for reviewing:**

**Alledaria**

**cloud64**

**Dark Wings in the night Sky**

**chocolate4eva**

**acavoo**

**marie47**

**filmmakersdream**

**DivideByNegativeZero**

**Reviews rock!!!!**

"Fang'll give it to me." I kept telling myself. "I finish this, and I'll have it." Yet, as I keep telling myself that, I keep thinking; _am I really this desperate to get it?_ But yes, I guess I am this desperate. I will go around the neighborhood wearing a Barney costume. And I will run at boys I think are cute yelling; "Give me a hug!!" I will also let Fang record it on video tape. A women has to have her priorities.

"Give me a hug!" I yell, trying to catch up to the boy across the block. He runs screaming and tries to hide in a dumpster.

I can hear Fang laughing his head. He loves to see me humiliate myself.

_Just you wait Fang! _I thought, chasing after a different cute guy. _Just you wait._

**An hour later.**

I was getting very hot and sweaty in the costume. I had been kicked in the shin twice, pelted by rocks four times, and, this one seeming to be there favorite, sprayed with mace six times. Of course, Fang fixed the suit so it was like body armor, and gave me goggles, so clearly he knew what he was doing, but still! This is _soooo _degrading!

After 20 more minutes, Fang finally yelled; "Alright, Barney! Lets call it a night!"

I sighed in a very deep sigh. Thank god! I retired from the 'everybody's favorite purple freak of nature costume' and threw in the dumpster, surprised to find the guy was still hiding beneath the load of trash.

I screamed as he dug straight out of the trash. Seeing me, he jumped back against the side of dumpster, pushing it over and rolling out. He got up quickly and ran, screaming, away. I swear, Fang laughed so hard I thought he might have a seizure.

"Oh, _hardy har har har_. We'll see whose laughing when we get back." I smirked a 'I-am-_so_-gonna-get-you' smirk.

He face remained that same annoying 'I'm-an-emo-and-I-don't-care' look. If he was afraid, he sure was good at hiding it.

**Tw3nty m1nutes L4ter **

Could Fang be anymore annoying, evil, and stupid?! I doubt it! I deserve what I want now! I don't ask for too much, do I? _No! _So then why won't he give it to me?!

"Before I let you have it." He had said, "Why don't we show the kids the video we made? C'mon, they'll love it."

I narrowed my eyes at him and sneered. "No!"

"Show us what??" Gazzy inquired, clearly eavesdropping us from under the table."

"Ooh." Nudge crawled out from behind him, followed by Angel. "Is it like, a really embarrassing

video tape of Max making a fool out of herself??"

"Were you guys eavesdropping on us?!" Well, that was a stupid question.

"Its about Max running around in a Barney costume! And she was yelling 'give me a hug!' at cute guys!" Darn Angel and her mind reading powers!"

"Cool!" Iggy, who just happened to be walking into the kitchen proclaimed. "Lets watch it!"

"Ok, stop! First of all, you guys are not supposed to eavesdrop. Second, Angel, if you read my mind, try to keep my thoughts to yourself (well, that's a weird thing to say). And third, Iggy, your _blind. _You can't _watch _anything."

Iggy waved his hand in a fanning sort of way. "_Details, details_."

"We are _sooo _watching that video!"

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

Before I could do anything, the whole flock dashed to the living room. I tried to jump at Fang, but missed and fell smack on the floor.

Fang anxiously popped the video into the VCR.

"_**Give me a hug!"**_

"_**Aaaahhh!"**_

"_**Give me a hug!"**_

"_**Eeeep!"**_

It went on like this for an hour or two, but the flock never got tired of it. They just laughed, and laughed, and laughed till they turned purple. **(A/N: Patrick Star: I love being purple!!)**

Even though the video was totally humiliating, I did chuckle at some of the parts. Hey who doesn't laugh at themselves some of the time?

Finally, after two hours of watching the video, watching the whole flock crack up, turning away, and repeating, the video was over.

"I have never _'pant' _laughed so much _'pant' _in my life."

Suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, Fang leaned over and kissed me. On the lips! My cheeks turned so red it felt like they were on fire!

"Alright Max." He said, getting up. "C'mon."

"Where are we going?"

"Y'know." He said, leaning down to me. "The _thing."_

Oh my god! I had forgotten all about the thing! I was finally going to get it!! Yay!!

We walked over to Fang's room.

"So, where is it?!" I was super excited.

"Hold on a sec. Lemme get it."

I stood in the door way, jumping up and down.

Fang pulled a box out of his closet.

I leaped over and kissed him. This is so cool! I'm finally getting it!

He, reluctantly, broke away from me and placed the box into my hands.

"I think you've been humiliated enough."

I sat down on his bed, so eager to open the box. I carefully placed my fingernails under the lid of the box, and carefully to pulled it open to reveal…

**A cliff hanger! Well, not really, but still. I am so evil! Mwahaha! Review and try to guess what it is. **

**Split personality: I'm _more _evil!**

**Are not!**

**Split personality: Are so!**

**Please review!**


	4. 4: The last straw

**Ok, time for chap 4!!**

Anony: See! _Someone _thinks I'm evil. 

**Split personality: Pfft.**

Aqua279: I suggest therapy. 

**Set.Me.Free.123****: You'll see.**

**Yascarocks****: I'll update now.**

**189BenchQueen189****: And that I shall.**

**turtlelover523****: Close, but no.**

**Emaryllis****: Thanks you.**

**fangzgurl****: Yes, quite 'coolio'**

**skldfh: Sure it is.**

**SamanthaFantasyFan****: Sorry to leave you hanging. You will find out what's _in the box._ **

Anony: What makes you say that? 

**chocolate4eva****: Sorry, I'm kind of juggling a couple stories. I didn't mean to take so long. **

**Thanks for reviewing!!**

I carefully placed my fingernails under the lid of the box, and carefully to pulled it open to reveal… 

"Ahh!" I screamed as I threw the box in the air and jumped back.

"Snake!!"

I pointed at the box as a green, scaly creature from hell (what I called snakes) slithered out of the box and onto the floor.

Fang started laughing like a mad man. He fell over and started rolling around on the floor.

"Aw… My ribs, ha ha ha, they hurt, ha, hurt so, so, ha ha, bad."

"That was _soooo _funny, Fang!"

"Yea, but not as funny as this."

"As _what?_"

"Its crawling up your leg!"

"Ahh!"

I started dancing around and waving my leg around, trying to get the snake to let go.

Finally, after ten minutes of waving my leg in the air and doing something that looked something like an ancient rain dance, the snake finally let go.

"Fang!! Oh my god!! You are so evil."

I punched him in the arm.

"Ow! It was just a joke! Geez!."

"Ok, where is it _really??_"

He handed me another box.

I slowly, ever so carefully lifted the lid.

"Aagh! Gross."

I pushed the box, containing Gazzy's old sweat socks, away.

Fang laughed, so I gave him a _shut-up-or-I'll-pound-your-face-in look_. He shut up.

"C'mon, the real one!!"

"Alright, alright!"

He handed me another box.

This time, I opened it, and my face lit up with joy.

"I can not believe you still watch that."

"Shut up. It's addicting! Don't tell any one, please??"

I tried to imitate the Bambi eyes, but failed miserably.

"Fine."

I leapt over and kissed.

"Oh, thank you!"

I ran into the living room and popped the video into the Vcr player.

I looked at the cover in glee.

**Care Bear's Christmas, the exclusive never before released addition.**

_Max… you still watch _Care Bears??

_Shut up voice. _

Just then, I heard someone move behind me.

"_Max_??"

Uh oh.

It was Gazzy. He had a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"You watch _Care bears?!"_

He fell on the floor, rolling around with laughter.

"Max watches _Care Bear!!"_

"Shut up Gazzy!!"

"Max, you watch Care Bears?!"

Not Iggy too!

"No!"

"She's got a video of it!"

Gazzy snatched the video out of my hands.

"Gimme that!"

I snatched at it, but missed.

"Gazzy, why are you in here, any way?!"

"Fang told me there was a surprise in here!"

Fang…

I put a look of rage on my face, and Gazzy backed away.

"Where's Fang?!" I shouted at Gazzy.

"In the kitchen, I think."

I stomped down the hall, to meet Total sitting on the table. He had a cape, a shirt with the initials 'TA', and a make shift mask.

"Total, why are you dressed like that?"

"Well, I was watching wrestling and I thought, 'hey, I could do that!" He balanced on his two back legs and showed the TA proudly. " I am, Total Annihilation!"

I chuckled.

"Total-"

"_Annihilation_"

"Huh. Total '_Annihilation', _have you seen Fang?"

"Yea." He said, plopping down onto for legs. "He's in the kitchen."

I went into the kitchen to find Fang chugging down egg nog.

"You are _EVIL_!!"

"I know."

"I am so gonna get you back for everything!"

"_Suuuure._"

I smiled a devilish smile and rubbed my hands together.

"Just you wait Fang! Just you wait…"

**Yay! This is definitely not the last chapter not the last chap.**

**Split Personality: Better not be!**

**Fang: Um… can you tell me what Max is gonna try??**

**Nope! You just got to find out.**

**Fang: Grrr…**


	5. Chaptah 5 Revenge!

**Yesh! Chaptah 5 now in da' hizzay!**

**Split Personality: Why are you talking like that?!**

**Because I can!**

**cloud64****: You don't have to say anything.**

**Alledaria:**** Why, thank you!**

**RedSoxGirl5****: Don't worry, she'll get him good…**

**Golden Nugget****: Yea, go care bears!!**

**Anony: Sorry I took so long to update.**

**Emaryllis****: Yes! Who's random? Me!**

**marie47****: Yea, I thought about that too. Don't worry, I'll only have this chap about a prank then do something totally different the next chap.**

**Tanks for reviewing!**

**Split Personality: Tanks?**

**Yes, Tanks.**

Ooh, Fang is _so _going down! I can't wait! He's probably expecting something stupid like, a stink bomb. Something Gazzy would do. But no! I think outside the box.

"Fang!"

I yelled as loud as I could in a sort of damsel-in-distress voice.

"Oh please help!"

His door swung open.

"What is i-"

Splosh!

"Oh very funny Max!" He brought his hands up to his face, surveying the white sticky stuff that had poured upon him from above. It was all over his body, hands legs, hair.

He started to walk forward, right into the puddle of grease I smeared all over the hall.

He slid forward, right into a mound of fake feathers.

He silently got up, spitting feathers out of his mouth.

"Oh, yea." I said, beaming from ear to ear. "That white stuff is glue."

"So, this is the best you've got? A couple _feathers?"_

"Oh, yea, forgot to mention. The feathers have _itching powder _dumped on em'."

Fangs eyes widened. He started scratching like crazy, doing some weird chicken dance.

I took out his video recorder from under a blanket and started recording his dance, all the while laughing hysterically.

Sweet revenge.

After about a half hour of this, the itching powder finally wore off.

Fangs eyes lit up with fury, and he lunged for me.

"Gimme the camera."

I spun out of the way, and he crashed into the sofa.

"No way! I'm gonna go give this to Iggy, to upload to youtube!"

I dashed down to Iggy's room, practically leaped in, and slammed the door behind me.

"Hey Ig, could you put this video on youtube? Its off Fang doing the chicken dance."

Iggy snatched the video out of my hands.

"It would be my pleasure!"

**An hour latazo (L4t3r (Later))**

Fang trudged down the hall, seeing us gathered round' the TV.

"Watcha watch-…"

He stopped short when he gazed upon the TV. He gave look saying 'I'll kill you when you sleep, you evil…'

I pushed my way out of the hysterical bird kids, put my hands on Fang's shoulders, and started steering him into my room.

Once we were in, he and I sat down on the bed.

"Listen Fang, we both got each other. Now, we can stop."

Fang sighed. "Fine."

We kissed, and I hurried back into the TV room.

Total pooped out from behind the couch, still in the 'TA' outfit.

"Total, why are you still wearing that?"

"I'm doing some hard core training, duh! Alright, who wants go a round, huh?"

"…"

"Scardy cats!"

**DONE!!! I LIKE WRITING BIG!!!!!**

**Split personality: …**

**Sorry it was short.**

**Puhlease review**


	6. 6

Hey! I know I haven't updated in what would seem like years for this story, as well any other story for that matter, but school has been harsh!

**Anyway… Yay! I am finally updating this story!**

**Split personality: 'Bout time too. Nobody paid attention to it before, and they won't this time around!**

… **Whatever. Time to answer the reviews!**

**cloud64: Tank you.**

**Split personality: Again with the 'tank you' crap?**

**marie47****: Sorry I made you wait so long. I'm just glad you already didn't go drastic on me…. Heh….**

fangsgirl007: Cool. Thanks for your praise… I'm flattered. Its kind of weird hearing stuff like this. I never thought I was that good.

**Captain Kangaroo****: Yea… There's nothing like a good chuckle.**

**socksE-B4ev****: Thank you.**

**da archer****: Yea, but technically that would be animal abuse, which is frowned upon in our society. **

**Snap Crackle Pop: W8 no longer!**

**SamanthaFantasyFan****: Good interesting…?**

**Wally-West-Go-Zoom****: Thanks.**

**Alledaria****: OK, I WILL. Laugh-out-loud.**

**amberdark****: Carpet angles? That is so weird! Mud angels are so much better!**

**FangObsessed****: Farwa to you too?**

Anonomus: Ok! Note to self: Make more humor ones.

**Split personality: More humor whats?**

**Dunno…**

Paper Hearts Bleed Ink: That's sad. Sorry. 

**And now, on with the story!**

Our duel of pranks was finally over. Nobody won, but nobody lost….

As if. The last month since the chicken incident have been nothing but boring! I needed something to do, and now!

After contemplating our next venture into the outside world I decided that, with the erasers gone, we could finally go sight seeing! I called a flock meeting.

"Alright everybody. Now that the School is not a threat to us, we can finally go anywhere we want, and experience things that people who are not being chased by maniacal mad men do."

A mess of yelps and shouts erupted through the group followed by:

"New York!"

"Washington DC!"

"Paris!"

"…Paris?"

"…Yea. Paris…"

"How 'bout Chicago?" Fang interrupted through the cheers.

"Why Chicago?" I inquired.

"Cuz I heard that there was some other bird people like us there. Hiding from the rest of the world."

"How do you know that?" I asked, suspiciously.

He shrugged. "A little birdie told me."

"That is the worst pun I've ever heard. Alright, Chicago it is!"

(5 long hours later)

We had finally reached Chicago, but it was clear we were going to have a hard time finding those bird kids. There were crowds everywhere! We decided to go shopping at Lincoln Square, which was said to be pretty cool.

We first stopped at Urban Outfitters, where I bought a cool denim jacket and a super cute bracelet. Fang bought a pair of cargo army pants. Iggy bought an 'Ask A Ninja' DVD and a red leather jacket. Nudge bought a skirt and Angel bought a book about kittens **(Note: The book on kittens is actually the one based on what I bought…. I mean saw. Yea, just saw.)**

Shopping was fun, but we had to get down the business. Fang suggested we go to a local library, thinking we could look up any strange bird sightings, when we were met by a tall (compared to a normal person), long-ish haired boy who was wearing a black jean jacket with a strange bird shaped insignia on the back. His shirt simply said "Can't Sleep. Clowns will eat me." in big white letters. He was wearing black and white striped cargo pants and checkered black and white shoes. His hair was messy and tangled up, and he had one fingerless glove on his left hand. He looked quite eccentric, to say the least.

"Hi, I'm Gabriel." He said abruptly.

"Hi." I returned, awkwardly. "Excuse me." I said, trying to be polite as possible "But why are you talking to me?"

"Don't you know?" He asked surprised.

"Know what?"

"I'm the president of the Young Republicans club. You joined up to be a member, right?"

My jaw dropped. Young Republicans?! I'm not sure what that even was! I turned to Fang, only to see him smirk. I glared back, but he only shrugged it off.

"Were meeting in the Library in an hour, alright?" He said, then, before I could answer, he left.

I turned towards Fang, who took a precautionary step backwards.

"I am so going to kill you" I muttered.

(1 hour later)

Young Republicans suck. All of them were creepy nerds who kept staring at me. Gross!

They mostly talked about government mumbo jumbo I had no idea how to even comprehend. And worst of all, at the end of the meeting, one of them, Cole, tried to kiss me! It was the most disgusting thing ever!

As I was hurriedly leaving, a voice called behind me.

"So, your coming to the competition, right?" I turned abruptly.

"What?!"

"You know! The championship for the Young Republicans trivia trail. You were entered as one of the competitors!"

I…am…going…to…kill…Fang!!!!

**Yea! Finished. Ok. All right. Good. **

**Anyway, please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: A new flock?

**Hello readers! Back again! **

**Split Personality: Pfft. Like anyone missed you.**

**... I hate you.**

**Split Personality: So that means you... hate yourself?**

**What? No! I mean- Auggh! **

**Oh well. Review time.**

**Alledaria**: **Don't worry, I'll try to update more frequently. Sorry.**

**loved1**: I'm very glad I inspired you. :)

disneydork: That I shall.

IGGY n' FANG FAN: Maybe I will.

aviator301: I gald you think my fic is... halarious.

And now... on to the story!

I stood there, looking dumb as a door nail. Beside me was Gabriel, excitement burning in his eyes. This was fun for him. It was not for me. To my right was Billy, the other extremely nerdy boy on my team. To my even farther right was the opposing team. While I was surveying there team members, the host walked on.

"Vello, I'm Rodrick Von Houtenburger." I giggled slighty at his name, but he didn't notice. "And velcome to the eighth annual Young Republican trivial trail. We vill now begin."

**One hour later. **

"Max! Its Whashington D.C, not Colorado!" Billy shouted. "Thats the easiest question in the game, and you got it wrong!" I simply shrugged.

The game was over, and the final score was 102 to 55. We had the 55. After Rodrick had presented the winning team with the trophy, Gabriel took me to the side.

"You missed every single question!" He yelled. "How could somebody possibly be so stupid?"

My face turned red with anger.

"Listen here, punk!" I yelled, shaking a fist. "Just becuase I don't know the exact date America was founded does not mean I'm stupid! And the fact that your calling me stupid means your ignorant as hell!" I stormed off.

Fang was waiting outside. He grinned when he saw the anger spread across my face. "Didn't go so well, huh?"

Total padded up behind me. "How could you get that question wrong? It was obviously D.C!"

"AUGH!"

**30 minutes later**

We were staying in a hotel by the river. "You are so stupid!" I shouted. "How could do that, you steaming bag of-"

I was cut off by a loud crash. Something had flown through the window, and glass had sprayed every where.

"What the hell was that?!" Iggy cried as he sprinted in to the main room.

"Eraser version, like, 8.5!" I shouted. We all looked down at the heep of erasers on the floor, who were slowly getting back up. We realized that not only that the School, now apparently back, had switched back to live, breathing erasers, they had also attached cyborg parts to them! There arms were mechanical looking and a side there head was entirely metal, save a hole of a glowing red eye. But then I realized something else. They were wounded, and bleeding badly.

"Never fear, civlilians!" I heard and turned swiftly. "For Team Terrfic is here!" It was a little girl, just about Angel's age, standing on the ledge of our hotel room, looking in where the erasers had made a hole.

"Hellz no!" A boy about my age with scruffy blonde hair and deep, hazel eyes said, appearing seemlessly out of nowhere. "We are absolutely not Team Terrific!"

"Yea!" An older girl said, appearing next to the boy. "Were Fearsome Five!"

Suddenly, an eraser sprang at the boy, teeth bared. The boy quickly, almost to fast to see, launched a kick upward, bashing his foot into the erasers face. "WE don't have a team name!" He protested.

Then, two more boys joined them, one with black hair and very tan skin, and the other about ten with spiky, electric blue hair.

"Stop bickering!" The one with black hair shouted. "Remeber the erasers?"

"Oh, right!" The blonde one said, and launched himself at the fallen eraser, grabbing his neck and twisting hard. There was a blood curtling snap, and the eraser went limb. The rest of there group jumped at the erasers, imitating the blonde one's movements.

Once every eraser's neck had been cleanly snapped, the strange guests regrouped.

"What do we do about them?" The tan one asked quietly, pointing toward us. "They saw all of that."

The blonde one looked puzzled, and turned towards us. "The erasers were after you, that much was obvious. But why?"

I slowly opened my mouth to speak. "Because... I'm from the School. I'm Maximum Ride."

I was shocked. I had never spoken openly to any one about that, ever! Why here? Why now?

The blonde one smiled. "You too? Wow. Theres more of us than I thought. I'm Blane. This is Hark." He told me, pointing to the older girl. "This is Pierce." He said, gesturing to the boy with the tan skin. "We three are fourteen. Then there's Fiz and Em." He said, pointing to the young boy and girl. Behind him, they were both bickering about what there team name was going to be.

"Team Terrific!"

"No! Were the Mauraders!"

"Shut up both of you!" Blane shouted. They stopped.

"Well." Total said, waddling up beside me. "Your a couple of odd balls."

"And your a talking dog." Pierce spit back.

"Touché ." Total admitted.

"So what do we do-" I was cut of by the maid, who appeared through the door.

"Room servi- AAAAHHH!" She screamed.

"Maybe we should leave." Blane commented.

"Lets." I said agreeing, and tool off into the night sky.

**Finished. Hope you like it!**

**Split Personality: Bet they won't.**

**Please, for god's sake, shut up!**

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! Another update coming at ya! Sorry for the wait!**

**Split Personality: Why do you even bother?**

**...Dunno. Any way, review time!**

**Fanggurly:**** Thanks! I shall update now. **

**disneydork****: So is cheese. I love cheese.**

**Brooke Walsh****: Maybe. You never know. **

**nudge323:** **(In regard to chapter one). Yea. This story was started a long time ago. **

**Fanggurly:**** Thanks! Sorry for such a long wait... I have exams. Boohoo.**

**BiggestMRfan**: I couldn't resist throwing a spongebob reference in there.

And now, the story!

We had flown in the night air for five minutes, our wings gliding silently against the air, before the volleying of question started. Nudge was the first one to speak, adressing Em as if they had known each other for years instead of five minutes.

"That skirt is so cute!" She stated, regarding the light blue skirt Em had been wearing. "Where did you get it?"

"I bought it in France." Em stated smiling. "I have another one just like it in pink. You can have it if you want."

At this, Nudge practically oozed gratitude. "That... would... be... AWESOME!"

"Ah. Good old Paris." Pierce remarked, obvouisly reminicsing over old times. "Remeber that soup, Blane?"

"Who could forget?" He laughed. At this, they started to sing.

"Soup Soup  
A tasty Soup Soup"

They both sang in unison, there voices flowing against the wind.

"Spicy carrot and corriander!  
Chilli chowder.  
Crouton, Crouton  
Crunchy friends in a liquid broth  
I am gespatchio Oh!  
I am a summer soup Mmmm!  
Miso! Miso!  
Fighting in the dojo!"

They did a funny hand gesture at this, adding to the entertainment.  
"Miso! Miso!  
Oriental Prince in the land of soup " ((Mighty Boosh reference there. Great show. Actual Verision: the end of the very last sentence, they both started laughing. I laughed along, though I had no idea what that was. Spotting Hark, whom hadn't said anything yet, I decided to fly up beside her.

"So... Hi." Yep, that right. Only the most advanced and sophisticated dialogue is suitable for the great Maximum Ride.

"Um... Hi." She responded.

"So... that a cute top." I had no idea what to say. Sometimes I wish I could atleast act like a normal teenager. But I guess she feels like that too.

"Thanks. You too." She looked as confused as I was. "So.. you know any Judo?"

I was taken aback at her question. Not because it is odd, but because I could actually relate.

"Yea." I answered, and she let expression of relief spread across her face. " I thinks it cool, the way you use there own weight against them."

"Totally." She responded, smiling. "Like, it doesn't matter if your humongous. In fact, thats like a liabilty."

I loved talking to Hark. I could really relate to her, without having to act like a mother, as I would have to do with Nudge or Angel.

**((Blane's POV))**

"And I walk over to her, right? And I'm like, just a little bit away from even making out when an Eraser attacks! It totally sucked!" I told Fang, who listened intently. The whole flight, we had been talking about girls. And it rocked.

Fang never went into detail, and used as few words as possible, but was still very interesting. He told me about a girl named Lizza, whom he said he made out with, like, five times.

I overheard Iggy and Pierce, Pierce explaining the mechanics of a certain homemade bomb. Angel, Nudge, Em and Total were discussing the latest fashions and Fiz and Gazzy were playing rock, paper, siccors, though rock seemed to have turned into a bomb.

"So where we going?" I finally asked. We had been flying aimlessly for hours.

"This looks like a good place to spot." Max said, pointing at a Motel 8.

We all swooped down towards it, wondering how we would fit nine bird kids and one dog into one motel room.

"'S gonna be cramped." I remarked.

"We'll deal." Max replied

"Me?" Total sounded appalled. "Share a bathroom with nine borderline ruffians? Absurd!"

"Don't worry." Fang said, his eyes narrowing. "Your sleeping outside!"

"Noooooo!!!"

**End. **

**Please review! Or else. **

**Split Personality: Or else what?**

**I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead. **


	9. The 9th Chapter

**Back again with another update!**

**Thanks to all the reviewers who... um... reviewed. Yea.**

**Split Personality: ...**

**What? **

**Split Personality: You are so stupid. Review time! This time, I will be answering reviews!**

**Doesn't that mean that even though your answering reviews, I'm still answering reviews?**

**Split Personality: What? No. I mean... Shut up.**

**Dreamer xo**: **(SP): Yea, they are cool. Way cooler than the author of this story.**

**Hey!**

**disneydork****: (SP): Whatever wierdo. **

**Don't insult the readers! I need them! **

**Dreamer xo****: (SP): Yea. Whatever.**

**Fanggurly:**** Sorry for spelling her name wrong. I haven't read 'Schools Out Forever' for a long time. And I'm glad you like my characters!**

**Onto the story! **

**(Blane's POV)**

We had rented a room at the Motel 8. The biggest one. Obvouisly.

But we decided to go around and get acquainted with the town. Turns out we were in Austin, Texas. Wow. How long had we been flying?

Anyway, we had found a abonded park, complete with a jogging track and a tennis court. Iggy and Pierce (they had become pretty tight) went out and bought some tennis balls and rackets. What followed what was probably the most heated match of tennis in the history of tennis itself.

"Hey Blane." Max called to me from across the tennis court. "There's gonna be in a hole something at the end of tonight. You'd better hope it either be in your racket or your ego."

"I don't know." I shot back. "Maybe someone should've stopped stroking your ego a long time ago. Its so big now, its gonna be hard not to hit it." And then _BANG_!!! Max had already slapped the ball halfway across the court by the time I finished my sentence. My instincts kicked in and I bashed the incoming ball back at her.

Our arms were a blur of movement. The ball 'wooshed' from side to side, several loud 'Bam!'s and 'Slap's erupting per second.

"Loud." Iggy remarked blatantly, eyes closed. The rest of the flock watched in awe as the ball flew from one side to the other with blinding speed. I decided it was time to end this, so I bashed the ball into the very left side of her side of the court. She dived for it, but missed by milimeters.

"Hah!" I whooped. "Yea!" I stuck my tongue out at Max. Childish, I know, but it was effective. Her face was burning red, and she stomped her foot on the ground.

Clash of the Titans?

More like Clash of the Ego's.

Next, she challenged me to a race. This oughta be fun.

**(Max's POV)**

God! I lost! To... a... boy! I can't believe it! Maybe if it would have been more than a one point match, but still! Serouisly! Well, were racing next, anyway. He is going down!

"Racers, at your positions!" Total shouted. Why is a dog refereeing our race? No idea. "And... start!"

We both took off at remarkable speeds, our feet nearly in sync.

The race only lasted about two minutes, even though we were racing around the track fifty times. The finish line was right in front of me. I leaped forward... what had to be a millimeter ahead of Blane.

"Ha hah!" I shouted, dancing around. "Beat you! Yea!"

"Aw come on!" Blane shouted. "You suck!"

"If I suck, how come I beat you?" I taunted.

"Grrr."

**(Back at the Motel 8) (Blane's POV)**

Me and Max had been at competitions all day. Right now, we were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

"Paper covers Rock! Ha!"

"Not fair!"

"Hey Max." Nudge asked in the sweetest voice she could muster. Which was pretty sweet.

"Yea honey?" I asked.

"Can we play a game?"

"Like what?"

"Like... truth or dare?"

What? Whered she learn about that game? Thats not a good game!

"Well hon-" But I was cut off.

"Sure!" Blane said, smirking. "Lets play!"

**Cliff hanger! I know. Thruth or Dare: Over used. But I couldn't resist. Oh well. **

**Please review!**


	10. Max the Tenth

**I'm back, with the next installment of StUcK iN a TrEe!**

**Split Personality: Why do you even try? **

**Because.**

**Split Personality: Because why? **

**Just Because. Review time!**

**T.D.andS.:** **Sorry about that! My brain is all scattered, what with School and all. ****J**

**RandomlyCheesey****: Ok! **

**Nicole****Read and find out….**

**Fanggurly:**** Yay! E!**

**disneydork****: And comments are like many food analogies. **

**Dreamer xo****: Spelled your name right? More like copy and pasted it. **

**Split Personality: Lazy….**

**Lou****: I em sory abowt mi spelling. **

**Story Time!**

**(Max's POV)**

We all sat in a circle, my eyes darting from mutant bird kid to mutant bird kid.

"I'll go first." Blane offered. Nobody objected.

"Ok…" He started, contemplating what act of inhumane torture he could dish out on his unsuspecting victim. "Max!" He finally decided upon me as the first guinea pig.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." I retorted, my eyes narrowing in anticipation.

"Have you ever pictured Fang naked?" He inquired. I recoiled in surprise, my face immediately tuning a shade of bright red.

"Um… Well… Seriously?"

"Totally."

I sighed.

"Yes."

The whole Flock burst out laughing, expect for Fang, who gave me a weird look.

"My turn!" I protested, trying not to dwell on the subject.

"Iggy! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

I thought for a moment. Then an idea sprang into my head.

"You have no idea what the Hark looks like, right?"

"I guess." He admitted.

"I dare you to feel her."

He shrugged, and crawled over to Hark. He slowly raised his hands to her face and ran \his fingers along her skin smoothly.

"Now kiss her." I said, smirking.

"What?!"

"You have to do it!"

He slowly moved his lips towards hers, until there lips brushed together. The kiss was quick but satisfying, I decided.

Iggy moved back to his spot, his cheeks a fiery red.

"Alright, Pierce." Iggy said, getting right to the point. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever went past a kiss with a girl?"

"…Yea."

"How far?"

Pierce leaned over and whispered something in Iggy's ear. Iggy's eyes became wide immediately after Pierce had stopped whispering, and he appeared shocked.

"Seriously?" Iggy asked, an envious look in his eyes. Pierce nodded.

"Blane." Pierce said shortly. "Truth or Dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Max."

An immediate look of horror crossed my face. Kiss Blane?

Blane shared the same expression I did. He turned towards me… leaned in and…

Before I knew it, our lips were touching, a warm sensation flowing through me.

We stayed like that for fifteen seconds before breaking apart. Out of the corned of my eye, I could see Fang red with… jealousy? Wow.

"Ok. Umm…" Blane thought for a minute. "Fiz! Truth of Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to switch clothes with Em!"

"What!!??"

(Five minutes later)

"Haha!" The flock was rolling on the floor laughing as the two bird kids presented themselves, each coming from a different room.

"You…" Blane managed to speak in between bouts of laughter. "You… look lovely… Fiz!"

"Grrr."

**And I'm ending there. More dares next time!**

**Please review!**


	11. Number 11

**Chapter ****6!**

**Woot! I know. I am super lazy and must get better about updating. I feel really guilty…**

**Split Personality: Good. You should, you lazy piece of sh-**

**Hey! PG-13 please! Review time!**

**blackdog-pogo****: Me too.**

**disneydork****: Ok…..**

**XiaShadow****: Wait no longer! **

**blackdog-pogo****: Ok.**

**Lily: ****Thank you!**

**mayniac****: Maybe… Blaine and Ella? Hmmm….**

**Fanggurly: ****I can relate. Fiz is a boy. Haha.**

**And now, on with the story! Yippee! **

(Blane's POV)

OH MY GOD! I kissed Max! Aaahhh!! Where is the mouth wash when you need it?!

Anyway, it was Fiz's turn, and he looked like he had murder on the brain.

"I pick… Nudge!" Fiz decided. Nudge's eyes lit up.

"Truth or Dare?"

"…Truth!"

"If you had to choose one person to kiss right now, who would it be?"

I'd have to remember to scold Fiz later for being so up blunt.

"I think I'd have to choose… Iggy." After saying this, Nudge immediately turned bright red. Apparently, that had become a trend in the last half an hour.

"My turn!" Nudge said quickly. "I have the best idea! Angel! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Angel answered immediately, leading me to believe she might not be as innocent as I thought.

Nudge leaned in and whispered something in Angel's ear. Angel eyes widened, and she giggled with excitement. She then turned to Fang and stared deep into his eyes. Suddenly, Fang was up on his feet. He then started to do something I never thought he do in a million years. He was doing- get this- the Chicken Dance!

"I don't want to be a chicken! I don't want to be a duck! So I shake my butt!" Everybody fell over with laughter. I could barely breathe, I was laughing so hard.

After about two minutes of this, Fang finally settled back down to normal. By this time, his face was red with anger. He sneered at Angel, who didn't notice because she was to busy giggling.

"Alright… I choose…. Total!" Angel exclaimed.

"Me?" Total seemed shocked.

"Yes, you! I dare you too… wear these!" And then, out of nowhere, she pulled out a little pink doggy tutu!

Total looked absolutely disgusted. "Not in a million years, sister!"

"C'mon! You have to!"

(Two minutes later)

"I can not believe I am wearing a pink tutu!" Total exclaimed.

Everybody was laughing hysterically. Everyone except for Total.

"How undignified! Too think a dog of my poise and stature would be stooped to such a low level! Why I never!"

"Alright." Max said, clapping her hands as she got up. "I think we've had enough truth or dare for one night."

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I got up quickly, stretching as I did so.

"Alrighty guys! Time for bed." I told my Flock. There were several moans and groans, but no one dared to argue.

(Lat3r that night…)(Max's POV)

I had just tucked Nudge in and was about to settle down myself when I noticed Fang standing across the dark hallway. (**Note: Hallway was very dark. Bare with me here.)**

I though about earlier and decided to make him feel better about me kissing Blane. So I ran up to him, threw my arms around him, and kissed him. I tried to reenact a scene in one of those lovey-dovey movies I had been forced to watch with Nudge.

After about thirty seconds, I pulled back and glanced up at his face, only to see-

"BLANE!?" It was Blane I had kissed, not Fang!

"MAX?!" He looked as shocked as I did.

"EUGH!" I made a sour face.

"Right back at you." He responded.

"I can not believe I kissed you! Gross! Get some hot water! Get some disinfectant!" (**Little Charlie Brown reference for you there.)**

"I am going to bed!" Blane shouted. "I hope I get amnesia so I never have to remember this!"

"I hope I wake up in a parallel universe where you don't exist!" I shouted in return.

**Uh oh! Blane and Max are at it again? Will this problem be resolved? Of course it will! This is a comedy, after all! **

**Until next time, this is Fang's Penpal, signing off!**


End file.
